ELIZABETH DUFOUR RIVERS (1929-2023)
LET LIGHT PERPETUAL SHINE UPON HER
Elizabeth (Betty to her friends) Dufour Rivers died yesterday, October 14, 2023, at the age of ninety-five (b. Dec. 28, 1929). Her husband of seventy-three years, Dr. Charles Ford Rivers, Jr. died last year.
Since this blog focuses on the schism, we must remember today the eloquent and moving letter she sent to her home parish, Church of the Holy Communion, on November 12, 2012, a few days before a diocesan convention was set to affirm the claimed secession of the diocese from the Episcopal Church. Under the courageous leadership of the Rev. Dow Sanderson, the parish remained in the Episcopal diocese. The letter is well worth a re-reading today. No one encapsulated better the truth of the moment at that painful time.
Dear Friends,
I am writing this letter because I do not feel comfortable, at this stage of my life, speaking in public about delicate and emotional topics and thus chose not to speak at the meeting Sunday morning. But I do want to share with you how delighted I am at the announcement that our parish [Holy Communion] will continue to be a full and faithful participant in The Episcopal Church of the United States of America. I have often said, in the midst of the recent troubles: "I was born and Episcopalian and I intend to die an Episcopalian." The knowledge that I will be able to do so in the very church where I was confirmed and married, where all four of my children were baptized and confirmed and from which both my mother and daughter were buried fills me with a joy and gratitude words cannot express.
I would also, at this very happy time, like to express why I am so firmly supportive of this decision. While I understand there are multiple issues at play in the conflict between the former leadership of this diocese and the national church, the historical record clearly suggests that at the heart of that conflict are differing theological views concerning homosexuality. In fact, the very first document produced under the new name "The Protestant Episcopal Church in the Diocese of South Carolina," (dated June 15, 2012) deals exclusively with the topic of homosexuality and how it has been handled by the national church. The breakaway diocese is thus, in a sense, founded on its opposition to the ordination of homosexuals and to same-sex blessings.
Point #3 of this document says that the signatories (the Standing Committee of The Protestant Episcopal Church in the Diocese of South Carolina) have "compassion" for "those who struggle with and act upon same-gender attraction" and says that "the Lord calls us all, equally, to repent of sin that we might receive forgiveness and cleansing [...], restoration [...] and transformation." Whatever my other sins may be, I clearly do not have to ask for forgiveness, cleansing and transformation for the loving, monogamous, life-sustaining relationship I have had with my husband for the past sixty-three years. But according to this document, my son, who is in an equally loving, monogamous, life-sustaining relationship of twenty-six years with his partner, does. I do not agree.
Point #4 says that the signatories "repudiate, denounce and reject any action of the Episcopal Church which purports to bless what our Lord clearly does not bless." Again, I disagree with this view. There has been unambiguous evidence of the blessings of the Lord in the relationship between my son and his partner, many, many times over, during the course of many, many years. This is not an abstract notion on my part; it is something I have seen with my eyes and ears and that I know in both my head and my heart. And it is something for which I am profoundly grateful to God. My son and his partner's relationship has been a blessing not just to them but also to my husband and me, to my son's partner's parents, to both families and to their many friends. My son's partner, whom I love as a dear son and who has unfailingly treated both my husband and me with all the affection, devotion and respect of a dear son, would not have come into our family if he and my son had not entered into union with each other.
People who would deny these gracious blessings of our Lord simply have a different view of who God is and how he works than I do: what I know to be a blessing, they consider a sin. Fortunately for me, the denomination into which I was born and to which I intend to remain faithful agrees with me! The Episcopal Church and the decisions of the General Convention are in keeping with my belief that our Lord calls some people to loving, monogamous union with a partner of their own sex, that he blesses such relationships and that our Church should do so as well.
The thought, in recent weeks, that a separation from this place might become necessary has caused me nearly unbearable pain. The knowledge that that will not be necessary after all fills me not only with overwhelming joy but also with hope, gratitude and pride.
With love to you all.
Betty
(Elizabeth Dufour Rivers)
November 12, 2012
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The issue of homosexuality was indeed the direct cause of the schism. In fact, in 2015 the breakaway diocese institutionalized homophobia in its mandatory "Statement of Faith."
It is gratifying to know that Betty Rivers lived long enough to see the federal court rule that the schismatics did not take the diocese with them but created a whole new body with no claim whatsoever to the pre-schism diocese. The Episcopal diocese is the one and only continuation of the old Diocese of South Carolina. The breakaways formed a new church and entered a new denomination beyond the bounds of the Anglican Communion. They have gone a long way to keep gays from having blessings in church.
Betty Rivers saw truth a long time ago and shined a light on it. This should be her epitaph.
