A NOTE TO THE EPISCOPALIANS OF SOUTH CAROLINA

The messages I am getting from church people in lower South Carolina these days are, well, pretty strong. They range from complete bewilderment to rage. Emotions are running high. I will admit, mine are too. I can validate every one of them. So, what do we do with those feelings?

I am writing to you as something of a Dutch uncle:

What we do not want to do is let the feelings overwhelm us. I will tell you of a case, extreme to be sure, where bad feelings turned inward to destruction, as an example of what can happen. Years ago in my home church there was a family that had two children, sons in their late teens, nicest young men you could imagine. I taught them in Sunday School. One day they were shopping in Blockbuster when a robber shot to death the two clerks and then turned and shot to death the two brothers just because they were witnesses. The parents were heartbroken to say the least, especially the father. His rage against the murderer knew no bounds. (The murderer was tried and convicted, then died soon thereafter of natural causes in prison.) The father once told me that no one could know the pain unless he had gone through it. I could not disagree. Long story short, he never made peace with his loss and died a few years later, basically of a broken heart. In a way, he was the fifth victim.

So, as we look back at what the South Carolina Supreme Court did this week, here is what I think. You have plenty of reason to feel bad. In my view, the SCSC rendered injustice. They did not settle the legal issues of the schism. They gave out three different decisions in five years, each one rubbing salt in the wounds of the good people on both sides. At first they snatched 29 parishes away from the breakaways, then they took 15 parishes away from the Episcopalians, and then they snatched another 6 away from the Episcopalians. Worst of all, they did not deliver closure. In my opinion, the SCSC failed in its duty. You have plenty of reason to feel bad, so own those feelings.

Very often, the best way to handle bad feelings is to channel them into good causes. Find ways to make life better in your own little world. Work with your church. Work with charities in your community. 

I think it is also helpful at this point to draw back and look at the big picture again. Remember why you are Episcopalians and why you are caught in this unfortunate mess. Years ago, the Episcopal Church came to champion equality for and inclusion of all people in the life of the church regardless of race, gender, disability, or sexual orientation. It still does. Yet, in lower South Carolina there were church leaders who rejected this, particularly the part about homosexuals. They led a secession from the Episcopal Church to keep some people (gays) from having the same place in the church they had. They had a similar view of women. So, you Episcopalians are in this because you chose to stand for human rights. This is a noble cause. Do not forget that.

Meanwhile, listen to what your bishop has TO SAY. She is a wise woman.

Finally, to get back to basics, remember the two great commandments, to love God and our neighbors as ourselves. We cannot control what other people do. We can only control our own choices. 

The most common complaint I have heard from people for years is exhaustion. I am just worn out with it all. It never ends. I cannot stand any more. I am dropping out and tuning off. These are valid feelings too but I think ultimately misleading. You did not ask for this fight. It was given to you the way the time of your life was given to you. You did not have a choice. The choice that you do have is how to react to it all. If you believe that your side is right, you must summon up the courage and strength to fight for it. Would America have turned away from Japan after Pearl Harbor? Would England have turned away from Germany after the Battle of Britain? Of course not. 

I am weary too, but I learned in my academic years of the 1960's that truth and justice are never ending struggles. One must soldier on for what one knows to be true and right. 

When all is said and done, this is God's universe. He made it. It has order and purpose. We cannot always understand it but it is there nevertheless. Meanwhile we are here to do our best to carry out God's work in the time that was allotted to us. Let us fight the good fight; let us keep the faith. Peace.