TOUGH LOVE
Your seventeen-year-old son comes in two hours after curfew, clothes reeking of marijuana, breath smelling of alcohol. What to do? First you ask for an explanation. Then, you have to decide whether to take the easy way or the hard way to deal with this. The easy way is to shrug it off as harmless teenage rebellion and have everyone go to bed and forget it. That would be the easy way and also the wrong way. This could very well lead to the self-destruction of an otherwise promising young man. Short run gain would be overwhelmed by long run disaster.
There is an old truism that being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Everyone who has been a parent knows this to be true. Children and teenagers cannot always see the consequences of their actions; and it is the job of the parents to guide them as they make choices. In a way, I was fortunate that my policeman father had no hesitation about meting out tough love to me and my two older brothers. He had a very strong sense of right and wrong and imparted that to us in no uncertain terms. (He also had a soft side. Once I slammed a car door on a finger and could not sleep that night. Even though he had to go to work the next day, he sat up with me into the wee hours not saying a word.)
So, back to the teenager who comes in late smelling of weed and booze. This calls for tough love. Grounding for a month would be right, but if you really want to make a point, take away the cel phone too. You will likely get furious blow back---ranting, raving, shouting, screaming, crying, insults, slamming doors, scowls, the silent treatment for days....you name it. You may go to bed in tears. You may spend a sleepless night. You may have a disagreement with your spouse. It will all be hard but you know down deep it is the right thing to do.
And so, our country is at a point in its history where it has to mete out some tough love, for its own long term health and well-being. The former president, Donald Trump, disregarded rules and laws at will. He even tried to overthrow our constitutional democratic republic and keep himself in power illegally. This would have devastated our country. He is now being investigated on several fronts for felonies. If indicted, he could be brought to trial, and if convicted, sentenced to time in prison. For instance, we know the Justice department is investigating him for two serious crimes, obstruction of justice and espionage arising out of his illegal possession of classified documents.
As the investigation proceeds, violence will escalate. It has already begun against the FBI. If Trump is indicted, there is likely to be serious fighting in the streets. It will make the insurrection of January 6 look like a warm-up. If he is put on trial, it will be worse. The nation will go through a trauma the likes of which we have not seen since the 1960's, or possibly the Civil War. If he is convicted and sent to prison, well who knows if there will be an out and out civil war? There are more guns than people in the U.S.
The easy way here is to ignore Trump, leave him alone, and forget his misdeeds. This would keep the peace for the moment. This would also be the worst thing to do because it would open the door wide for Trump, or other future wannabes, to continue on the path of discarding the laws and destroying our constitutional democratic republic. It would be just a matter of time before the end of our democratic republic comes. The flame of the great experiment of the United States of America would flicker out into a fascist minority regime, a rule of men and not of laws.
Like the parent above, we must use tough love in this case. As hard as it will be, we must follow the law wherever it leads. We must gird ourselves for the violence. We must not back down. The future of our nation depends on it.
